I've just had a new little guy start in my class. It's always the case that they're only finally referred to me when everthing else has failed and they're at the point of being thrown out of school permanently. In the mean time loads of time has been wasted and the child is so confused and badly behaved that if it's not addressed will inflict massive damage on them as they get older. I find it very frustrating that these kids aren't referred earlier -- so much damage and heartache could be avoided.
My sympathies lie with the child, although many people can't understand why this is... I see them as the innocents in the bad behaviour dilemma. I see unhappy and confused children living an almost entirely negative life. Would you want your life to be like that? I know I wouldn't want that for myself...
'Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life', I'm asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes...
So many adults just don't understand and it's so maddening and frustrating. Ok, the kids are deeply unhappy, but they're not mature enough to make the necessary changes without the adults adopting behaviour management strategies that ensure changes will occur. It's not difficult, in fact it's surprisingly easy...
It's a bit too much to expect little children to change their behaviour when they've been allowed, even encouraged, to behave in an unacceptable way for a long time because adults have failed to manage them effectively. These children have probably lost track of how they should be behaving in school.
To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don't learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.
So back to this little guy who's just started. He's in my class each morning and goes to school for the afternoons. How's he doing? In my class he's started well. But, his head teacher rang me on day 2 to tell me, 'Liz he came back to school yesterday afternoon as bad as ever!' Well, what a surprise! What does she expect -- what's he supposed to do? There won't be any changes in school until the adults start managing the situation differently. Some of the good behaviour he shows to me will transfer in part to his mainstream school but to keep it going the school's behaviour management techniques have to be totally consistent.
Although children know when they're behaving badly, if managed ineffectively, they can believe that the behaviour is acceptable to the adults. The bad behaviour soon becomes habitual and their norm - starting in a minor way and quickly escalating into behaviour considered unmanageable. It's a situation where nobody can win - stressed, frustrated and out of control of the situation.
After a trouble free start I can guarantee the new little guy will try and behave in the way he does in school because he won't be able to help it! Let's see how we get on...
I'll work with the school (and home) so they'll learn how to manage his behaviour - they won't find it difficult. They'll receive the same advice that I give all those people I work with and they'll soon be confidently using my behaviour management techniques. Believe me, anyone can do it... - 29957
My sympathies lie with the child, although many people can't understand why this is... I see them as the innocents in the bad behaviour dilemma. I see unhappy and confused children living an almost entirely negative life. Would you want your life to be like that? I know I wouldn't want that for myself...
'Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life', I'm asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes...
So many adults just don't understand and it's so maddening and frustrating. Ok, the kids are deeply unhappy, but they're not mature enough to make the necessary changes without the adults adopting behaviour management strategies that ensure changes will occur. It's not difficult, in fact it's surprisingly easy...
It's a bit too much to expect little children to change their behaviour when they've been allowed, even encouraged, to behave in an unacceptable way for a long time because adults have failed to manage them effectively. These children have probably lost track of how they should be behaving in school.
To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don't learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.
So back to this little guy who's just started. He's in my class each morning and goes to school for the afternoons. How's he doing? In my class he's started well. But, his head teacher rang me on day 2 to tell me, 'Liz he came back to school yesterday afternoon as bad as ever!' Well, what a surprise! What does she expect -- what's he supposed to do? There won't be any changes in school until the adults start managing the situation differently. Some of the good behaviour he shows to me will transfer in part to his mainstream school but to keep it going the school's behaviour management techniques have to be totally consistent.
Although children know when they're behaving badly, if managed ineffectively, they can believe that the behaviour is acceptable to the adults. The bad behaviour soon becomes habitual and their norm - starting in a minor way and quickly escalating into behaviour considered unmanageable. It's a situation where nobody can win - stressed, frustrated and out of control of the situation.
After a trouble free start I can guarantee the new little guy will try and behave in the way he does in school because he won't be able to help it! Let's see how we get on...
I'll work with the school (and home) so they'll learn how to manage his behaviour - they won't find it difficult. They'll receive the same advice that I give all those people I work with and they'll soon be confidently using my behaviour management techniques. Believe me, anyone can do it... - 29957
About the Author:
Liz Marsden is a highly skilled behaviour management expert who uses her expertise to train teachers, trainee teachers and support assistants to manage children's behaviour. Visit Liz's web site to learn more about her work in her own classes and mainstream schools. Liz's highly recommended book, Behaviour Bible will give you all the guidance you need in classroom management.
